YUGI: ( thinking) Ahh! Good morning, world! I have a feeling that today is going to be super-special. GRANDPA: Okay, so just to be clear, I'm definitely not going to bring up your double whammies. GRANDPA: So, you don't want me to talk about your gazongas. GRANDPA: Nice of you to come visit, Téa! I see your breasts have gotten a lot bigger. YUGI: Okay, kinda see where you're coming from now. YUGI: There's nothing creepy about my grandpa. TÉA: Come on, Yugi! You know I love hanging out at your creepy grandpa's game shop! And now I'm picturing Martin Scorsese having sex with Jennifer Connely.
YUGI: ( thinking) God, those eyebrows are huge! I can't stop staring at them! It's like Martin Scorsese and Jennifer Connely had a baby. USHIO: Hey, kid! I heard a rumour that some guys have been bullying you. I'd better get out of here before I start dancing too. YUGI: ( thinking, as he watches the henchmen) Man, ever since this school hired the Elite Beat Agents, things have gotten a lot funkier around here. PUZZLE PIECE: ( it flies into the river nearby) Whoaa! Oh no! Help! Somebody! I can't swim! Mommyyyyy!
PUZZLE PIECE: ( same voice as Yami's) Giggle while you can, fool, for soon I shall be free and then. JOEY: Neh, that's just for sh*ts 'n' giggles. TRISTAN: Is that why we always steal his lunch money too?
JOEY: I sure did! This is my way of teaching him how to be a real man. TRISTAN: Joey Wheeler, did you take that from Yugi's puzzle box? JOEY: ( holding a piece of Yugi's puzzle) I guess Yugi won't be needing this!
( Joey and Tristan are standing by the window) TÉA: What are you going to wish for, Yugi? YUGI: I know, right? According to the inscription, whoever manages to complete the puzzle can make a wish and it will come true. ( quickly) So my grandpa gave it to me as a birthday present. And apparently the team that discovered it died mysteriously a few days later. They say it contains a dark power that could threaten the lives of anyone who dares to open it. TÉA: As friends, Yugi! Geez, such a pervert. TÉA: ( suddenly appears) You guys should be ashamed of yourselves! Yugi is very sensitive, and if you screw around with his emotions it could seriously damage him in later life!
JOEY: ( turning away from Tristan, who is still speaking) Anyway, Yug, as I was saying: your dumb box is full of dumb.
Tristan Taylor, that's what! You see, in this series I play a very important role. TRISTAN: I'll tell you what's crack-a-lackin'. YUGI: Gimme that back before I tear off your face and wear it as a Halloween mask! Why would anybody be interested in this priceless ancient Egyptian artifact that contains untold magical powers? It's so stupid. And I know exactly what I'm gonna wish for: Téa's panties- ( Joey grabs the box away from him) Ey, what the?! He told me if I made a wish on it, it would come true. ( thinking) Those jocks can keep their basketball, and their popularity, and their active sex lives. YUGI: ( interrupting) Yeeeah, that's what I thought. YUGI: Would you still like it if I crammed it down your throat? YUGI: Hey Danny, you like that basketball? YUGI: Uhh, look Danny, the last time we played basketball you stuffed me in the hoop and let me hanging there until my grandpa came to pick me up.ĭANNY: Yeah, man, that was awesome. Come play basketball and be a real douchebag like everybody else in this school. STUDENT: Come on man, stop being such a nerd. STUDENT: Hey, Yugi! ( the house of cards collapses) YUGI: ( thinking) After three years I'm finally gonna beat my record! Just gotta be reeeeal careful and try not to. STUDENT 3: Hahahah! This is exactly what high school is really like. STUDENT 1: Come on guys, let's go play basketball! ( "We're All in This Together" from High School Musical plays, cut to scenes of a high school) ( bursts into maniacal laughter as the archeologist struggles to breathe)ĪRCHEOLOGIST: Curse you. VOICE: Long ago, when the pyramids were still young, I was a great and mighty pharaoh, who ruled over this land! Then, the Shadow Games came and nearly wiped out every living creature on the planet! However, I've managed to seal away the evil and place myself inside a mystic box, never to be discovered again.ĭISCOVERER: Hey guys, I think we found something!īOX: Ahem! I said "never to be discovered again".ĭISCOVERER: Yeah, there's definitely something here! Somebody keeps talking about how it'll never be discovered.ĪRCHEOLOGIST: Oh-oh man, this thing is just what I wanted! My kitty could use a new litter box.īOX: Well, you know what they say. ( title sequence " Birdhouse in Your Soul" plays) Cast (in order of appearance): spirit of the Millenium Puzzle, archeologists, school students, Yugi, Danny, Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, Téa Gardner, Ushio, Grandpa